the only people with nicknames in my phone are zeta xi, because apparently zeno has an obsession with naming things.

kind of like with the beer pong teams, in zeta xi you get a nickname chosen for you by the senior members. there’s almost always a reason/story behind it, and you’re not supposed to find out why/what the story is until after your first year, but some of them are sort of obvious. like, marcus is nova because at one of our very first zeno parties, he got super wasted and was yelling about how he couldn’t feel his legs. also, someone didn’t know how to spell “novocaine” correctly.

ringer is actually “the ringer” because he’s stupid good at competitive alcohol-based games.

i don’t remember why salem is salem. it’s something to do with the cat from sabrina.

kiosk is full of useless information about goddamn everything. u-turn is so bad at directions that he can’t find his own dick in his pants most of the time. tapas is short for “tapastealo” because he steals tapatio hot sauce from the dining commons.

pretty sure this is specifically a UNLV thing though, since we didn’t do nicknames at UCLA.

only reason i was thinking about this is because i just realized i don’t… actually know what some of these guys’ real names are.